Heartbreak: How to Heal
10 Ways to Heal from Heartbreak
If you are reading this, then I am pretty sure you have faced heartbreak of some sort. Perhaps you have faced heartbreak because of a break up, from the death of someone important, loss of a job, financial struggles, or other personal issues that cause emotional pain. It often can feel like a dark, lingering cloud.
I’ve definitely had my fair share of heartbreak between parents divorcing as a kid, my beloved pets passing, tragic incidents happening, compassion fatigue, and tough breakups. It’s naive to say I won’t ever face heartbreak again. That’s just kind of how life works. The good thing is that at least if we are aware of that, we can heal and cope properly. That is not to say that you should anticipate hard times in life, but more about being prepared to push forward.
I know it’s a lot easier said than done. Trust me, I’m going through it BIG time right now. I honestly do not think I have ever felt so betrayed, hurt, disgusted, and confused in my entire life. However, I look forward to a time in the future when I can look back and that pain is no longer there.
Lately I have had to really focus on what I could do to improve how I feel and make it through. I’m not going to say it’s easy. It’s actually really freaking challenging. Everyday is work, but it does get easier.
This is somewhat a vulnerable post, but I hope it helps anyone else who might be struggling. So here are 10 ways I have found that help with healing from heartbreak.
Work on Self Concept
I put self concept first because it truly is the most important. Mindset has almost always been a pretty big thing in my life, but recently it’s become an obsession. I started watching some manifestation YouTubers and their main focus is self concept. What is self concept? Basically it’s your perception of self. Let’s admit it, most of us do not have the best self concept. I know I haven’t.
So everyday this year so far, I have done quite a few things to improve my self concept. I can truly say it works! Everyday when I shower, I say “I am” affirmations aloud almost the whole time in the shower. These are statements that you may not even believe yet, but eventually if you say it enough it starts to become engrained in your mind. You say these statements with confidence and power. I have noticed it really does make me feel better about myself and my worth.
Other ways to improve self concept is to watch how you talk to yourself or what you say about yourself. For example, saying things like “I’m such an idiot” or “I’m a failure” can really weigh you down. Don’t do it! Replace those phrases with positive ones. Again, you don’t have to believe it yet. It’s about tricking your mind.
Exercising is pretty high up on the list of things that can help you during heartbreak. It’s chemically proven that exercising helps your mood. It also makes you more confident as you are working to improve yourself. How can you not feel better about yourself when you are hitting goals and seeing progress? Exercising helps as a healthy stress outlet.
I know for me running really provides me that relief. It ends up making me push myself harder because I have the built up pain, anger, resentment, and more that I am working through.
Exercise could be yoga, lifting weights, a workout class, a long walk, boxing, or so many other options. Just get moving. You’ll feel better!
I have mentioned this in so many other posts, but I’m mentioning it again. That’s just how important practicing gratitude is. Having a grateful attitude puts a lot of things into perspective. Try to find the good even when there is so much bad. It really helps if you are able to write down what you are grateful for, so get a journal and get to writing!
This is a pretty cliche piece of advice, but it works. If you sit around sulking, guess what? You are going to think sad thoughts. Start spending more time on a hobby, clean, do a fun DIY project, read a book, the list can go on.
This will not only help distract you, but you will also start to feel better as you make progress with something.
Get Family and Friends on Board
Often times when heartbreak happens in our lives, the people in our life will talk about it. This has actually been one of the hardest things for me right now. I personally do not want to continue talking about something that makes me angry and upset.
I actually told my parents and sister to not ask me about things pertaining to my issues and to try not to let me dwell on it. Of course if I really needed to vent for my sanity, then that is acceptable. It’s not good to bottle up pain, but it’s also important to not dwell. So talking for hours about the same thing that makes you feel the same negative emotions just brings you down.
It’s a little more challenging to get everyone else on board. Most people have good intentions when asking. I typically just say I do not want to talk about it in detail and that I’m working on myself. That’s the truth. Then after that, people will typically respect that request.
Surround Yourself with Good Energy
I’m sure you’ve heard “misery loves company”. Well, when you are feeling down you need to avoid others who will make you feel down. Surround yourself with high vibe energy people. These are people who push you to move forward, hold you accountable, support you, and provide positivity. Make the effort to spend time with these people. It can truly help shift your energy.
Volunteering can do wonders for your soul. I know this because it does for me. I volunteer at my local animal shelter and with rescue groups. You can focus your energy on something that gives you purpose. When you make a difference, you feel good about yourself.
Social Media Cleanse
A social media cleanse could mean many things. For me, I have limited my amount of time on social media. I do not want to see sad things or drama. I do not want to compare my life to others. Plus, I do not want to waste a bunch of time aimlessly scrolling.
Additionally, a cleanse could mean ridding of people. I have unfriended and even blocked some people for my own mental health. Seeing or reading some things on social media can be very triggering. If you are going to remain on it, then that could be the safest bet to avoid those triggers.
Consume Positive Content
This is similar to surrounding yourself with uplifting people. Something that has really helped me is watching motivational or self help videos on YouTube. Two of my favorite people who discuss self concept and manifestation are Roxy Talks and Kim Velez. I would watch a ton of their videos each day. I have learned so much from them.
You can also find plenty of self help books. Right now, I am reading The Secret. I have already gained so many insights from it and I constantly reflect on what I learned.
Avoid Sad Music and Movies
I know how it is. When you are going through the motions, you want to listen to sad music and watch sad movies. I started to do that and then I asked myself “why?” Why would I want to make myself more sad? Yes, the content might be relatable, but until you are in a stable position it’s likely best you avoid it. Listen to uplifting, upbeat music. Watch movies and shows that make you laugh instead.
It’s Always Darkness Before the Sun Rises
I know in the moment when you are facing heartbreak it feels like there is no hope. Trust me, I know far too well. Those feelings will still come up occasionally, but you just have to equip yourself with the proper tools to push through. It’s constant hard work, but it will pay off. As Tony Robbins said, “The future has to be more compelling than the present.” You haven’t arrived at the future yet, so there is most likely a good chance it will be ok. That vision may be clouded now, but if you persist, it’ll be worth it.
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